Priorities: My Children aren't that Important

You probably think my title is an attention grabber to pique your curiosity. Sorry, that’s not the case. My kids really aren’t that important.

Let me explain before you skip the rest of the article to leave me a nasty comment. But before I explain, I want to share some of this year’s Mother’s Day moments.

Fourth Child

My youngest is a pure expression of creativity. Her unique views of the world never cease to amaze. Many people create acrostic poems for Mother’s Day – even the well-known Proverbs 31 passage is an acrostic! Leave it to my youngest, however, to make an acrostic based on the second letter of each word. Maybe I’m wrong, but I think that’s kind of impressive for her age.

Third Child

My younger middle child thrives on the beauty of musical order. She mixes structure with creativity and rhythm with emotion to bring music to life. She’s had a song in her heart since the day she was born. No wonder that she shared her feelings in poetry.

Second Child

My older middle child gets it – whatever “it” is. Her quick mind, sharp wit, and logical comprehension not only make her hysterically entertaining but also provide a deep understanding of situations. She was the first to find me Mother’s Day morning to share her love. Also no surprise that she was the one that turned to social media to further share her feelings. Yeah, I know, I need to work on my "duck face."

First Child

My firstborn and I have something I’ll never have with my other daughters. For her first years, it was her and I each day. She’s always been a daddy’s girl but we made many memories those first years before my second daughter joined us. Her independence level will soon take a final giant leap as she branches out into God’s plan for her life. However, we still remember those first days together; they influenced her gift this year.

My Korean Daughter

She’s been with us for two years and, God willing, she’ll be with us two more. She’s part of our family, though. She’s the one to take care of what needs done – how else could her grades average 100% for all classes while learning in a second language? No surprise, then, that she found time and opportunity to buy a card. She’s also as sweet as she is smart as you’d see if you read her message inside the card which began, “Dear My American Mom.”

How can I say they aren’t that important?

They’re amazing – beautiful, creative, intelligent, compassionate, expressive, and all the things we hope for in children. I love each of them to the moon and back.

But they aren’t the most important.

God is. I love Him more.

I’ve been seeing these cute little graphics on social media recently. They say things like,

• “Your children are the greatest gift God will give to you.”
• “Children aren’t a distraction from the most important thing. They are the most important thing.”
• “The most magical day of my life was the day I became a mom.”

They all seem pleasant and sweet on the surface but lies, failures, and disappointments hide in the details of each one.

Greatest Gift
My daughters are each a great gift, but they aren’t the greatest. My husband is a great gift, too. He ranks right up there with my girls. I won’t insult him by saying they are a better gift than he is. Even he’s not the greatest, though. Only one of God’s gifts is the greatest – that of His Son. That’s the only gift in my life that covers all my inadequacies, forgives all my mistakes, and keeps giving grace and love no matter what situations come.

Most Important
They are each so important. God created them unique to fulfill a role in His kingdom. I know He has an incredible plan for each of them – just like being their mom is part of His incredible plan for me. However, being Jimmy’s wife is also part of His plan for me and it’s every bit as important as them. Only God’s plan is the most important; I’m blessed that He chose to include them as part of that plan. His is the only plan that can meet the needs of a hurting world, bring salvation to the nations, and give us significance and importance through serving rather than exaltation.

Most Magical… or Amazing
God doesn’t work with magic, so let’s use the word “amazing” instead of “magical.” I think it still fits with the original intent. I clearly remember the moment each child lay in my arms for the first time. All four were absolutely amazing. They were incredible. But they weren’t the most amazing moments of my life. I remember standing at the front of a church, facing Jimmy as we promised our lives to each other. That was pretty amazing. I remember the moment each daughter accepted Jesus as her Savior. Those moments of spiritual birth were even more amazing than the ones of physical birth. My own personal moment of spiritual birth was amazing as well.

In fact, every time I consider God’s offer of grace and expression of sacrificial love through His Son, I experience the most amazing moment. I’m amazed that the Creator of the universe could love us so passionately that He couldn’t allow sin to separate us from Him. I’m amazed that God the Son lived in holy, perfect beauty with the Father and Spirit and yet chose to leave heaven to come to this dirt-clod we call earth. I’m amazed by His power that willingly laid down His own life and defeated death by resurrecting back to life. I’m amazed by His power to someday return to the Mount of Olives in Jerusalem with footsteps that will split the mountain in half. Jesus is the most amazing moment.

Finding Balance

I love my girls… they are a great gift, they’re important, and they’re amazing. However, only God is the greatest, most important, most amazing part of my life.

I base my identity on my position as a child of God, not on my position as someone’s mother. My success in life is loving and serving Him, not my ability to bear or raise children.

As women, we have seven different roles. We stay busy as wives, mothers, businesswomen, friends, servants, and homemakers. They’re all important but none of them is most important. Can we say an unmarried woman is less because being a wife isn’t part of her roles? Are women without children less because they’ve never birthed or raised a child? Are women who don’t engage in the workplace less because they don’t earn a paycheck? Are women with a messy home less because they don’t live in spotless perfection? Of course not!

Only the seventh role is the most important – our role as the beloved daughter of God Most High. It’s the umbrella that covers, protects, and sustains the other six. Then we can say, “Many women are capable, but you surpass them all! Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised” (Proverbs 31:29-30).


For more on finding balance and women's roles, please check out Seven Roles, One Woman: You Expect Me to do All That?

Religious Extremism: Why it's a good thing

Religious extremism.

This term has bounced around social media and news outlets a lot over the last couple of months.

Most people use it to refer to ISIS – a militant, radical Islamic group who established a caliphate in regions of what you and I call Syria and Iraq. The leaders of ISIS embrace a form of Sunni Islam called Salafism. From what I understand, this classification level would be comparable to a particular denomination in Christianity, such as Methodist or Presbyterian.

President Obama and many others have referred to ISIS as not representative of true Islam. Perhaps the problem is that ISIS doesn’t ascribe to the same branch of moderate Islam that many in western culture would prefer.

Our western culture prefers to keep religion moderate. It’s OK to believe in God as long as you don’t actually talk to Him or think He speaks to you as well. Then you’re a fanatic. Helping the poor and less fortunate is a good thing… unless you give them too much of your time and resources. Then you’re obsessive. Reading a Bible is valuable literary understanding, but don’t let it affect how you live or view the world. Then you might be an extremist. You may believe whatever you want – just keep it to yourself and don’t try to impose it on anyone else.

Members of ISIS, however, are doing those things. They are studying the Koran and other ancient writings. They are letting it transform how they think, view others, and live their lives. They are praying to Allah daily – several times a day. They are sharing their message with others on a massive global scale as thousands of young people from all over the world pour into the region to join ISIS. They’re religious extremists; whether you like their form of Islam or not doesn’t change that.

When Islam is taken to extreme measures, ISIS is what it looks like. And it is massively changing our world.

But any religion may contain extremists. Christianity does… and should.

Balance is critical to so many areas of our lives. Wise financial sense balances income with expenses. It spends an appropriate amount on charity, bills, savings, and a little entertainment. A balanced diet includes mainly fruits and vegetables, some dairy, meat, and grains but also knows a little chocolate now and then is a good thing. Peaceful time management utilizes available blocks of time to accomplish tasks but also realizes we need a little rest every now and then. Moderation and balance is good in life.

Except in one area… Religious extremism is a good thing.

Shocked to hear me say that as the blood of 21 Christian martyrs soaks into the sands of Tripoli? Or, as the ashes of 45 Iraqis blow through the streets of al-Baghdadi, Iraq?

Religious extremism shows us the true nature of the religion.

What does Christian extremism look like?

As I walked through my journey to learn balance in most areas of life, I found two areas where balance isn’t acceptable. They are all or nothing kind of deals.

First the “All”
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.” (Deuteronomy 6:5).

We can’t love God moderately. No balanced approach exists for loving God. You are a three-part being. You have a heart or mind that relates to others. You have a soul or spirit that links with God. You have a body (“strength”) that connects to the physical world. We love God with all three parts. We love others unconditionally and sacrificially. We tenderly love our world – His creation. We love Him unashamedly.

Then the “Nothing”
“Do not love the world or the things that belong to the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in him. For everything that belongs to the world – the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride in one’s lifestyle – is not from the Father, but is from the world” (1 John 2:15-16).

We can’t avoid sin moderately. No balanced approach exists for dabbling in sin. The world likes to pull us away from God physically, mentally, and spiritually. It does so through desires that feel good to our body and our mind. It does so through the prideful self-exaltation of our own spirit over God’s.

But we mess up
I get it. I’m right there with you. We can’t love as unconditionally, sacrificially, tenderly, and unashamedly as God loves. We can’t avoid sin’s pull on our mind, body, and spirit completely on our own.

They aren’t going to happen.

That’s the beauty of God’s grace and forgiveness – two concepts unique to Christianity among religions. I’ve written about them before and I’ll write about them again. Today, they’re not my point though.

Christian Extremism

ISIS takes the practices of Islam to extremes; the world is rapidly becoming a different place because of it.

As Christians, now is not the time for moderation. Now is the time for our own version of religious extremism. Now is the time to take the teachings of Christianity to extremes and show the world what it looks like.

Extreme Christianity loves sacrificially. We follow Jesus’ example of love that gives until the last breath and extends to every soul on the face of His creation. We love even when it means we deny our prideful rights. We love even when loved one’s actions tear our hearts into pieces. We love because He loves us.

When Christianity is taken to extreme measures, it looks like Jesus. And it can massively change our world.

Love and Serve God: Learning to pray for our children

I guess I’m a bad mom. I don’t know but it seems that’s what the world would have me believe.

I’ve encountered a few situations lately where people have expressed surprise verging on disapproval with my parenting style. I need to make more of my daughters’ decisions for them. I need to control every aspect of each situation they enter. I need to manipulate outcomes to guarantee my girls’ success. I need to map out every moment of their time and their future so they’ll have an amazingly successful career.

I think this is the problem – when Jimmy and I left the hospital after the birth of our first child, I forgot to pick up my pair of hovering helicopter wings on the way out.

Here’s what did happen in my life around that time, though. In early 1998, I found out I was pregnant with our first child. At that time, I read the Bible and prayed at our kitchen table each morning. From the time of that first positive pregnancy test, my prayer life added a new dimension.

I began to pray for each of my children to love and serve God. That was it. I wanted God to be real in their lives and I wanted help for Jimmy and me to raise them that way. God was real to each of us; the only way we could fail as parents was if we neglected to pass that along to them.

I’ve learned some things about what it means to love and serve God in the past 17 years since that first prayer. If we’re all still around 17 years from now, I’ll have some more things to share because I’m still learning. Also, I think these things apply to all of our relationships – not just how we relate to our children.

To love and serve God

God made you special and He loves you very much

This line actually came from Veggietales, a children’s video series who enjoyed their highest popularity in my daughters’ younger years.

The point for us, however, wasn’t only to teach the girls that God feels this way about them. Even more, we wanted them to learn God feels this way about everyone. Every person has a unique, inherent value because God made them. We don’t classify by race, age, gender, or any of the other categorizations where people like to set one group apart as superior to another group.

Some of the stories I remember that weren’t an issue because of the way my girls’ thought… A fourth grader can play with a third grader even though they aren’t the same age. It’s ok if you’re white but you want to pick out a black baby doll or if you think a black boy is cute. A new kid on the softball team needs help learning how to play – why would someone make fun of them?

We can’t love and serve God – as adults or children – if we don’t recognize this. We put people down because of how much money they have, how hard they work, where they live, how their family behaves, and other nonsense. As long as we do this, we’ll fail to see that God loves and serves each and every human on the planet and calls us to do the same.

Learn to learn

This is my primary goal in choosing to homeschool our daughters but it applies in all aspects of life.

God created an amazing environment for us to live in – it abounds in artistic creation and scientific discovery. It’s full of ideas, truth, art, and logic that all weave together to make the human experience. If our life’s goal is to learn information to pass a test to make a grade to get into a school to get a certain job, then I can almost guarantee we’ll miss out on the beauty of the artistry and the wonder of the science.

At some point we decide we can stop learning; for some, it’s after high school or college graduation. Others wait until they have a graduate or doctoral degree before they stop learning.

Loving and serving God, however, is to realize that we can never stop learning. As children, we can learn to learn so our life may become a pursuit of God’s truth, a discussion of ideas to implement it into the world, an ability to create as He created, and a capacity to research and discover all of it.

Grown up in a grown up body

Children are born with three parts – a body that interacts with its environment, a mind that interacts with other people, and a soul that interacts with God. As parents, we need to raise all three parts to adulthood.

Decent nutrition and shelter will help the physical body grow to adulthood all on its own. The mental functions of the mind aren’t so easy though. The spiritual soul is even more difficult but for now, I’m going to focus on the mind.

We had a 9 year old friend of my daughters over recently. We were going to buy Subway sandwiches for lunch so I asked her what she liked. She didn’t know; she said her mom always orders for her. I asked, “What kinds of meat do you like – ham, turkey, beef, or salami?” She didn’t know what any of the meats were because she’d never had to make a decision for her own sandwich.

Many adults are children in grown up bodies. It’s important for children to make their own decisions. They start young in deciding which clothes to wear or which lunchbox to buy. They learn skills that help them as they grow and their decisions become more complicated… Should I cheat on this test? Should I go out with this guy? Which car should I buy? What classes should I take? Where should I go to college? Should I marry this girl? Should I serve God on the mission field?

This isn’t only about decision making though.

My daughter wanted banana cut up on her Rice Krispies this morning. I’ve been teaching her how to use the knife and cut it herself but she told me she doesn’t like to get her hands slimy from cutting it. My answer was simple, “Yes, but when you’re 35, I’m not going to come over every morning to cut up your banana so your hands don’t get slimy.” She smiled and proceeded to cut her own banana.

We can’t make all their decisions for them; likewise, we can’t do everything for them. We often do because we do it better, faster, or safer. From cutting bananas to balancing their own checking account, they’ll never learn if we don’t allow them to try. Yes, they’ll mess up along the way. Sometimes we learn more from our failures and mistakes than we do our successes!

Part of loving and serving God is to function as responsible members of society. We make decisions and accept the responsibility for the outcome of those decisions as we also seek God’s guidance in the process. We accept our failures as learning opportunities for greater success in the future.

So what’s my point?

I don’t know; goodness knows I don’t have all the answers when it comes to parenting. I guess I’m only wanting to explain my lack of hovering helicopter wings. I want to raise children who recognize the value in all people. I want my children to try and serve those people rather than expect to be served. I want them to learn how to learn about what fascinates them and praise the God who created whatever interests them most. I want them to be responsible adults who can help society rather than drain it. I want them to love and serve God.

Priorities: Finding a way to give thanks in a messed up world

As a family, we give thanks before each meal. We bow our heads and one of us – we take turns – prays a simple prayer of appreciation for the meal. I remember when my youngest could barely speak. She’d pray, “Baby Jesus, for this food. Amen.” We never figured out why she prayed to Baby Jesus, but she’s outgrown it now.

I doubt if any of us send up a prayer of appreciation for our clothes before we get dressed each morning. Or how about every time we get in the car and it starts? What about when we pay bills and the money doesn’t run out before we pay the last one. Do we think a prayer of thankfulness every time a thought of a loved one comes through our minds?

It seems so odd to me. We can be so rigid about the necessity of giving thanks before a meal but not express any appreciation the rest of the day.

What are some other things for which we can be thankful?

A lot of conflicting stories abound on every issue out there. I’ve learned to rely on Scripture to help me prioritize what’s important. Based on that, in no particular order, I’m thankful for…

• The transforming power of the Word of God; 1 Thessalonians 2:13. (ß Spend some time in God’s Word; read the verses to help you prioritize your season right now!)
• God’s gift – the sacrifice of His Son; 2 Corinthians 9:15.
• The peace of the Messiah; Colossians 3:15.
• The privilege to enter the presence of God; Psalm 100:4.
• Victory, because it is all about winning when it comes to eternity; 1 Corinthians 15:57.
• God’s grace and the privilege to pass it along; 2 Corinthians 4:15.
• The hard times God uses to help me grow; 1 Thessalonians 5:18.
• The part I have in God’s eternal kingdom; Colossians 1:12.
• Wisdom and power of God that are available to me; Daniel 2:23.
• Prayer that conquers worry; Philippians 4:6.
• God’s eternal goodness and love; Psalm 106:1.
• The amazing works of a loving God; Psalm 107:8.
• God hears us, answers us, and saves us; Psalm 118:21.
• The righteousness of Holy God; Psalm 7:17.
• The unlimited power and eternal nature of Almighty God; Revelation 11:17.
• The faith of believers all over the world who do their part in God’s kingdom; Romans 1:8.
• The teaching of Christ who points us to all truth; Romans 6:17-18.

You see, it’s ok if you burn the turkey or dump a pie on the kitchen floor (already had that one happen this year). It will even be ok if one of your relatives isn’t able to be with you this year. News of riots, wars, and nuclear talk failures can't even stop thankfulness. Why? Because even in the midst of daily stresses, relationship difficulties, and world turmoil, we have much for which to be thankful. We are thankful because God reigns, He gave His Son to restore our relationship with Him, and He and His kingdom will stand victorious for all eternity.

May some of these be added to your list of thankfulness this holiday season. 

Priorities: Figuring out what's real and worth it

Talked to Jimmy on the phone yesterday about some problems – the normal stuff like not enough money, not enough time, why won’t the kids behave, why so much stuff is falling apart. We wrapped up our conversation with our normal “good-bye” and “love you” but this time I also thought, “I’m so thankful he’s not part of the problems.” He’s what holds me up through the problems as he reminds me of important things like trust and faith. Hopefully I do the same for him when problems are firing at him.

I’ve also been acutely thankful for my girls over the last couple days – not for what they’ve done but because of who they are. They’re my daughters, my family. That’s enough to bind me to them forever.

I think that’s why this post by Glenn Beck on Facebook this morning struck something inside me.

What is real and worth it beside family?

You can see from my opening comments how important family is to me. Yes, it’s real and it’s so worth it but it’s not “the most important project of all.”

Here’s the rest of his list… Work, parenting, shopping, finances, outside activities, church work, spouse, friends, and extended family. And oh yeah, still find time to read Scripture and pray.

There it is – tacked on the end just in case we manage to find time – is the most important of all.

We may lose our job. Tragedy may strike our children, spouse, friends, or extended family; they may be gone in a heartbeat. The money may disappear completely. Outside activities and yes, even church work, can crumble away. Are we ready to say in those moments – when these horrors strike our own existence – that God is in control and that is enough?

Personal loss, natural disaster, economic failure, job markets, housing and community, and relationships will all come…and they will go. God doesn’t do that though.

He doesn’t “change like shifting shadows” (James 1:17 NIV).

He is “the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End” (Revelation 21:6).

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever” (Hebrews 13:8).

How do I do it?

That’s the next big question, isn’t it? I’m first to admit that sometimes it’s hard.

Those hard times prompt the phone calls to my husband like I talked about at the beginning of this article. Or a friend. But they also prompt me to fall to my knees in prayer. Scripture promises, “Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken” (Psalm 55:22).

My husband is a great man who can point me to Christ but he can’t solve all my problems. I have some incredibly wonderful friends who have been there for me often over the years. They also can’t sustain me, though. It’s got to be God.

“I called to the Lord in my distress, and I cried to my God for help. From His temple He heard my voice and my cry to Him reached His ears. … He reached down from heaven and took hold of me; He pulled me out of deep waters. … The Lord was my support.” (Psalm 18:6, 16, 18; Hover here to read Psalm 18 to see the power of God’s deliverance when we cry for help.)

We can’t only cry to God when the problems hit, however. We endure the hard times because we walk in relationship with Him all the time. We read His Word… no, we study it. We know it. We allow it to transform us from the mess we used to be into the person He created us to be.

Seven Roles, One Woman talks about this quite a bit from a woman’s perspective. It’s hard to balance being a wife, mom, businesswoman, friend, servant, homemaker, and oh yeah, a child of God. We try to juggle all of them and keep everyone happy. In the end, though, balance starts to come when we realize that being a child of God isn’t an “oh yeah” that we tag on at the end.

It’s the foundation upon which all the others rest…

• It’s the love needed to be the wife (or husband).
• It’s the grace mandatory to being a mom (or dad).
• It’s the wisdom desired to be a business person.
• It’s the kindness essential to being a friend.
• It’s the compassion required to be a servant.
• It’s the sacrifice important to being a homemaker.

Being a child of God is the power to make it happen because “He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6).

And if Glenn happens to read this - or anyone else trying to figure it out with very real scars in their own life - please know I didn't ignore that part of the original Facebook post. That's some hard stuff as well and maybe something to save for another time.

Jesus' Last Word on Peace

"White House mulls special forces in Iraq crisis"

"Palestinians celebrate Hamas kidnappings of three Israeli children"

"DHS adviser says Caliphate’s return inevitable"

"US adds firepower in Persian Gulf"

"US forces nab suspect in Benghazi terror attack"

This sampling of today’s headlines doesn’t give us much hope for peace. The Middle East has been a bubbling cauldron for years; a boil over of hostilities is inevitable. Unfortunately, that boil over will have worldwide implications. I don’t base that statement on the vast amounts of oil in the region, the possibility of other nation’s troops joining the fight, or conflict between political parties.

The boil over of hostilities in the Middle East will have worldwide implications because of the surety of the prophecy of Scripture. “You are going to hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not alarmed, because these things must take place, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise up against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these events are the beginning of birth pains” (Matthew 24:6-8).

And yet, God calls us to peace. We pray for the peace of Jerusalem (Psalm 122:6). Blessed are the peacemakers (Matthew 5:9). The fruit of the Spirit is peace (Galatians 5:22). As much as possible, we are to live at peace with everyone (Romans 12:18). God is not a God of disorder but of peace (1Corinthians 14:33).

How do we find peace in a world that’s boiling over?

Jesus gave us some last minute instructions during His last Passover meal with His disciples, a meal we also know as the Last Supper. In those parting words just hours before His crucifixion, Jesus gave us some help for how to live at peace.

These two passages line up side by side to give us three key points on peace. We need to remember these as hostilities boil over around the world.

Peace is from Jesus

Jesus is the source of peace that surpasses our understanding (Philippians 4:7). As He told His disciples at the Last Supper and He tells us today, He left that peace here! He gave it to us. He reminded us that in Him we have peace. He alone can give you peace at all times and in all ways (2 Thessalonians 3:16).

Jesus’ peace is nothing like the world’s peace

The world wants you to suffer. The world loves darkness and delights in evil (John 3:19). The world can’t accept Jesus or His message (John 14:17). The world hates you (John 15:19) and it's corrupt (2 Peter 1:4). But that’s not what Jesus wants to give you. He wants to pull you away from that and toward Himself.

Jesus has it under control

Jesus wants to give you peace. The world wants you to suffer. It’s easy to be afraid or worry because we experience the world all around us. It presses in everyday. As hard as it might seem, we need to let go of the fear and worry, though. We can let go not because of our own strength or because of some false premise of peace in the world. We let go of fear and worry because Jesus has conquered the world. That victory is our source of courage!

Protect the Children

Permit me to introduce you to George and Alice. Like many older couples, they spend the colder months of the year in a southern location and the warmer months in their native northland. Unlike many older couples, George and Alice are Canadian geese.

A sign of spring’s imminent arrival for our family is George and Alice’s arrival to the pond in our front yard. Canadian geese mate for life; this particular couple has returned to our pond every year for almost ten years. When they returned the second year, my family decided to name them George and Alice.

Their routine is the same every year. They first defend their territory in our yard from any other geese who feel our pond might make a good nesting spot. Once everyone is convinced to leave them alone, Alice begins building her nest on our pond’s small island. Within a short time, she has a nest full of eggs. She takes her place on the nest – rarely leaving and then only for a short time. George spends hours a day standing guard on the shore watching for any predator who might decide to attack Alice or the nest.

If all goes well, a few weeks later we all have the joy of watching George and Alice swim around the pond or walk around our yard with their little flock of goslings. This was our scene only a few days ago.

I watched them quite a bit this day. Experience has taught me they leave the pond within a couple days of the eggs hatching. So, I knew this was probably my only chance to see them this year. And besides, they’re just so stinkin’ cute.

I quickly realized that George and Alice spent much of the day fighting off predators from their young babies. They were constantly alert; always focused in many directions. After all, the goslings were as vulnerable as they were cute.

Our cats would stalk them – hoping for a chance to pounce. But, mama or daddy would always spread their wings, lower their neck, and honk so as to scare the cats back to the deck. A turkey vulture would circle over their heads wanting to grab up one of the babies. One of the protective parents would fly into the sky in full attack mode, letting the predator know that these babies weren’t going to become prey. Even other geese would try to get to the babies. In fact, they were the worst offenders. Whereas the cats and the turkey vultures learned after one or two attempts, the other geese stayed after the goslings for most of the day.

Mother’s Day is right around the corner; its approach reminds me of my day watching these parents and their baby geese.

George and Alice’s protection of their young was extensive. One parent stayed in front and one in back as they walked the goslings to the sand pit in our yard, to the neighbor’s driveway on the other side of the pond, and floated in the water. They knew an enemy could come from any angle; they were ready. They knew their babies wouldn’t stand a chance without them.

Moms and dads, our children need our protection as we begin to take them out in the world. Predators may lurk among their friends. Schools might be corrupting them. Their internet and phone activity could be taking them down a bad path.

Are we watching from every angle to make sure they are safe? Have we taken time to get to know their friends? Do we scripturally evaluate the curriculum taught them in school? What about the school lessons which aren’t from the established curriculum? Are we turning a blind eye to their internet and phone activity? Are we teaching them how to recognize and respond to these types of attacks?

It’s a lot. I know. I’m struggling right alongside you in this attempt to raise godly children in a world that would desire they turn out anyway except godly.

And you know what – those goslings will come back with George and Alice next year. They’ll be grown by then. At that time, George and Alice will shoo them away so they can begin their own adult lives. George and Alice will have taught them all they need to know and they’ll be ready to survive and thrive on their own.

What area do you struggle with in protecting your children from a non-godly influence? Or, how do you protect and train your children to deal with the world’s attacks?

The Glorification of Busy

You call a friend on the phone to see if they'd like to get together this weekend. They answer...

“Oh, I'd love to! But, Jacob has three birthday parties on Saturday plus his soccer game. We don't really want to go to the birthday parties, but well, each of these kids came to his party last month so we kind of feel obligated to go. Anyway, Jason is working that day so I have to do all the running around by myself. I'm sure by the time I do all that, go to the grocery store, get my nails done, and work out at the gym, I'll be exhausted!”

Why do we answer like this? Why can’t we say, “I’d love to but I already have a lot going on. Maybe an evening next week?”

We are a busy society - no one’s going to deny that. But we’ve moved past being busy. We now glorify it. 

Not only do we cram our schedules full of activities, but we also have to make sure our friends know how busy we are. We have to give them the list of everything going on. We have to make sure they know how over-the-top busy we are.

As Christians, we even like to spiritualize our busy-ness. Have you ever thought or heard something like this…

“I just don’t have time to pray regularly! I mean, after all, I already sing in the choir, serve as an usher, teach a children’s class, and go to small group every week. How can I fit in one more thing?”

Let’s go back to my earlier question – why do we glorify being busy? Here are some possible reasons…

• If people know how busy we are, they won’t ask us to help with something that might make us uncomfortable. And yet Jesus taught, “Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you” (Matthew 5:42).
• Proclaiming our busy-ness makes us appear important; it makes us feel valuable. Jesus’ words deny this, however. We are valuable because God made us. Period. “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” (Matthew 6:26).
• We’re uncomfortable with being still. We pack our lives full so we don’t have to stop and think about what’s missing and what’s important. The ancient Hebrew songwriter knew better, though. He wrote, “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).
• Our friends will judge us if we aren’t busy enough. It’s become a competition to see who can be the busiest. We only need to focus on one thing though – rather than compete with our friends, we need to focus on what God calls us to do. King Solomon, in all his wisdom, eventually realized this, “Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man” (Ecclesiastes 12:13). Moses knew it too when he wrote, “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength” (Deuteronomy 6:4-5).

Mary Beth Dahl wrote on her blog this week…

“There is a purpose that we are here. There is a reason that this is the age in which we live. There is a plan that involves a hope and a future.

And

We have within us the ability to fully live life, to completely love others, and to introduce the world to hope...

Now is the time to live our lives with purpose.”

She wrote these words as a counter to a lifestyle focused on random sex, partying, and drugs. I think they also counter a lifestyle focused on the glorification of busy-ness as well, especially as we look at the response to this lifestyle in the next few articles.

This article is the first in a series. Continue on…

• Make Choices, Not Excuses
• Choose Not to Stress
• Choose to Enjoy Life
• Choose to Serve God
• Choose to Glorify God

Why do you think we glorify busy-ness? I listed four possibilities earlier – what can you add to the list?

Make Choices, Not Excuses

I began a series last week on busy-ness – not only are we all busy but we seem to honor it. To busy-ness be the glory. You can catch it here if you missed it.

Not only do we glorify busy-ness but we make excuses for how we feel about being so busy. Consider this hypothetical situation with me – we see a friend while waiting in line for dinner at Chick-fil-a. A conversation ensues...

“Hey, how are you?!?”

“Good, but I'm tired. This morning I had to drop the kids off at daycare and the older ones at school. Then I sat in traffic for 20 minutes trying to get to work. At work, everyone wanted everything yesterday! After work I had to pick up Megan and take her to dance class. Right now I'm grabbing some dinner before I go back to pick her up. We'll go home, eat, and I'll try to get some laundry done before bed.”

I know we’re tired; I get it because we’ve all been there. But after those first four words, the rest of that is a list of excuses for being tired – justification for being busy 24/7. We know something is out of balance in our lives but rather than make a change, we make excuses.

Why?

We make excuses for why something will never be perfect – such as our schedules – rather than take steps to make a change. We have to choose to deny the excuses. Conquer them. Don't give them room in our lives.

This isn’t a matter of positive thinking; the cup is half full instead of half empty kind of stuff. This is about making wise choices to take steps and see a change.

Sometimes these changes are easier said than done, however. What are some steps to help bring about change?

Understand God’s truth

God’s Word doesn’t spell out the answer to every decision. It does, however, give specific life principles that help us make wise decisions. Here are a few of God’s truths that can help us prioritize our activities.

o   Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.

o   Love your neighbor as yourself.

o   God loves you and desires an intimate relationship with you.

o   You have power to persevere through a difficult time.

Understand God’s provision

If God calls you to do something, He will provide what you need to do it. He’ll provide the finances, energy, knowledge, training, nerve, time, or whatever it is to accomplish the job. “Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6).

Don’t try to be perfect

It’s not up to you to get everything done. You only need to accomplish what God calls you to do. Nothing more, nothing less. We’re going to talk about this one more next week.

Know where to start

Concrete changes are easier to make than conceptual ones. It’s easy to say, “I need to cut something out and make more time in my life.” But this doesn’t lead to real change. Instead, think of a specific change with a doable plan of action to accomplish it. An example might be, “I’m going to pray every day about which activity I could cut out of our schedule until God shows me something.”

No Excuses / No Regrets

Excuses now become regrets later. Author James Rubart writes, “Regret is about looking back. If we’re constantly looking back, we won’t be able to see what God is bringing ahead of us.” The excuses we make now keep us from living in the moment God has designed for us. Eventually, we look back at the excuses and realize we could have experienced so much more. And we regret it.

“No excuses” is so important to us at Grow Barefoot that it’s the third tenet of our ministry. I wrote on this blog months ago, “To us, it's more than a catchy slogan – it's a lifestyle choice. We actively choose to live free from slavery to sin and free from the rules of man-made religion. We actively choose to pursue a life of obedience to God's Word in order to honor Him. Finally, we actively choose to do what He wants us to do without offering excuses for why we can't. A key purpose of our ministry is to help you do the same.”

Make an excuse or make a change. It's your choice.

What can you do to make a change towards a less busy lifestyle? How can you find peace with your schedule? Leave a comment - I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Continue on in the series –

• Choose not to Stress
• Choose to Enjoy Life
• Choose to Serve God
• Choose to Glorify God

Choose Not to Stress

A friend asked, “Why aren’t you stressed out all the time? You do so much but you’re not stressed. So-and-so is always over the top, stressed out with stuff going on.”

My answer came quickly, “I choose not to be.”

My life isn't stressed because I choose not to stress. I choose to enjoy.

Don’t get me wrong – don’t think I’ve never had a stressful, this-has-got-to-be-done-now, I-can’t-handle-everything-that’s-going-on, I’m-going-to-explode kind of moment. I’ve had plenty of them. I used to have a lot of them.

Over the years, I’ve developed a few habits that help me avoid the I’m-going-to-kill-someone moments. I don’t know if the order that I learned them is significant but that’s how I’m going to present them to you —

Be flexible.

This has nothing to do with yoga, although that can be helpful, too. It has to do with a mindset.

I’m a natural plan-maker; I married a man who likes to fly by the seat of his pants. Fortunately, this worked out well in our marriage. Trust me; it could have gone the other way at times. By a few years into our marriage, he had learned life could have some advantages with a little pre-planning. I had learned every detail doesn’t have to be planned out ahead of time. Impromptu can be an adventure.

Sometimes plans are a good thing; plans get you cheaper tickets to a concert, insure you have a hotel to stay in while traveling, and provide a well-stocked pantry when staying home.

Sometimes, though, things don’t go as planned. Sometimes things come up for which we haven’t planned. Accept those things as part of life and deal with them as they do.

I have a friend who calls herself Gumby. She abandoned Plan A and Plan B long ago and now operates according to Plan Q. Years of raising a family as missionaries in a remote location taught her quickly that life doesn’t always go according to plan. We can’t possibly plan for every situation. However, life’s experiences taught her that God’s provision was always ahead of the game. He was there in every moment, waiting with exactly what she needed.

I’m not in control.

I don’t want to start a comment war about the good and bad of Rick Warren but years ago he wrote a phenomenally successful book called “The Purpose Driven Life.” I still remember the opening line – “It’s not about you.” The line changed my way of thinking; I’ve even used it many times in raising my children as the years have passed.

Not only do I not have to plan everything but I also don’t have to be in control of everything. Other people can do it sometimes. They might mess up. They might not do it like I would do it. All of that is OK.

Get away from the lists

This is my most recent step. I admit that sometimes I still crave a to-do list. Just a little one. Just to make sure everything gets done. Just to make sure I don’t forget anything. Just to see what I’ve accomplished today.

The prayer struggle that transpired as I let go of the lists was physically painful. I felt like the kid by the side of the pool whose dad was coaxing him to jump in. The kid wants to trust his dad but the fear etched on his face and flowing through his tears keeps him pinned to the side, unable to make the jump.

Here’s the deal, though. If I can’t plan for or be in control of every situation, then I can’t possibly make a list of what I intend to do each day. But God knows. He knows exactly what my day holds – He knows exactly what He wants me to do each day. Good grief, He knew He wanted me to type this article today before He created the Garden of Eden.

I start most days with prayer for God to show me what He’d like me to do that day. I’d like to tell you I pray every day but that wouldn’t be true. It’s a big trust thing for me. I also choose to view my day – however it goes – as how God intended. Good, bad, ugly, rewarding, messy, it doesn’t matter.

I could write about this one forever but I’ve already done so a few other times. You can read more at Trusting God For... and Getting the Work Done.

I heard K-Love DJ Amanda Carroll say on the radio one time, “A relationship with God isn’t like following an impossible to-do list. It’s like falling in love.” This obviously caught my attention because she not only mentioned life’s impossible to-do list but she connected it to one of my favorite songs, “More like Falling in Love” by Jason Gray. I love this song so much I had to write about it too when this blog first started.

And that’s the point… the whole God-thing isn’t about plans, control, and to-do lists. Those things lead to stress. Those things will never set us free.

The whole God-thing is about relationship – a relationship of faith, trust, and love.

Are you ready to make the choice not to stress? Which of these steps could you take to help you make that choice? Can you think of other steps? I'll be looking for your thoughts in the comment section.

This is the third in a series of articles on busy-ness, excuses, and choices. You can read the first two in the series at —

The Glorification of Busy - Part One
Make Choices, Not Excuses - Part Two

And continue on with the series at—

Choose to Enjoy Life
Choose to Serve God
Choose to Glorify God